why does hello feel like goodbye?

I erased it. Your name,which you wrote just beside my name on the cover of my zuo wen book. The one when my teacher asked who is Fan Ruiping. You're not making this easy. Because i want the Kinda Brenos that you used to buy for me, i want to go your house again whenever it's raining, i want you to come over to my house again and give me surprises, i want to bake cookies with you again. But no, nothing of that is going to happen again.

):
i surrender.
i've lost a friend.